Monday, December 14, 2009

What if I Were a Different Kind of Person?

The other day, when I was hunting around online, I found an open position for an editor of Crested Butte Weekly. Now I know that I have no background in journalism, but I was the editor of a magazine for several years and I have seen the Crested Butte Weekly. I'm not only certain that I could handle the job, I'm sure I could improve the publication.

I had actually seen the posting before, but this one included an actual salary and the detail that the position was full-time, which made it seem quite a bit more palatable. My head was up in the clouds for the rest of the day, working things out, trying to imagine the earliest I could possibly have the house ready to sell. I even wondered if I could find some temporary lodging and leave Chris here to work and get the house ready to sell while I went to Crested Butte to start the job. How's that for getting ahead of yourself?

Later that day, I found out that even though it was still posted, the position had already been filled, so I didn't have to envision any more scenarios about how I would start working there right away. The hope and excitement vanished almost as quickly as it had arrived.

In its wake it left a distinct air of wistfulness. It made me wish I were braver. I can count on one hand the few truly brave things I've done in my life and sometimes that rankles. It's not that I'm so materialistic, but I don't like the idea of things being completely uncertain. I don't need a ton of luxuries, but I like a few, and I have to be able to put food on the table and Pro Plan in the dog dishes.

Just once in a while, I wish I were the type of person who could just pack up and go and not worry about the consequences. My fear is that waiting for everything to fall into place, instead of leading to a move to Crested Butte, could just lead to more waiting.

On the bright side, we'll be there in 17 days, if only for a little while.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'M having these visions of Chris getting the house ready to sell and you in Crested Butte. Did you get a Hookah Pipe? DG