Disappointing

That's the best word to describe my performance at the Kisscross race today. I was still flying pretty high from the excitement of my new bike and my relative victory last week and I guess I let it go to my head a little. You see, I walked an entire section of each lap and I foolishly convinced myself that it didn't matter. Even worse, this section was a downhill, so everyone who didn't walk down it was going a lot faster than I was.

As previously mentioned in my blog, I am a complete wuss. I am so worried about crashing—which is ridiculous because most of the time when I crash I get right up again with nothing too bad as a consequence—that I can't bring myself to ride anything I think is gnarly. So, when I came upon this downhill section during my practice lap that was slightly off camber and had a bit of a messy part around a tree, I told myself I would try to ride it during the race. The race arrived and I couldn't ride it during the first, second or third laps.

The discouraging thing about all of this is that I was riding faster and stronger than I think I ever have in one of these races and I wasn't too far off the main pack when we reached the downhill section. It was a really bad decision because I couldn't make up any of the time I took walking it, particularly since I walked it every time. I ended up finishing second to the last, slightly in front of an eight-year-old who was riding his first race. What made me feel even worse was that when I was watching the other classes race and I could see people going down it, it really didn't look that bad.

It wasn't all bad, though. Here are some positives:

• I finished. At some point, I will stop thinking of this other than as a given, but for now it still feels like a huge accomplishment.
• I realized today that I probably could be decent at this if I just continue to do it and gain some confidence and some intestinal fortitude.
• I didn't crash.
• I handled the sandy sections better than expected.
• The weather was chilly, but not extraordinarily wet and sloppy like this venue has been in previous years (according to other riders who have ridden it before).
• It was fun.
• I got to see some cool people. The first is Danielle Musto, who is this seriously hardcore endurance racer I am in awe of. I read her blog pretty frequently, but have never actually seen her in person. I felt kind of like a groupie (not that I actually spoke to her). The other person I saw was Anne, who is also very hardcore. I actually kind of know Anne, but I hadn't seen her in a while and it was good to have a second to chat with her.
• Chris didn't forget to charge the camera and got some good photos.

There, that makes it sound like a pretty good day!