Gearing Up

(That title's for you, DG!)

Well, the Yankee Springs Time Trial is less than a week away. Last Thursday we had our first team meeting. A bunch of us got together in Jackson to meet and socialize and talk about the upcoming season. There were a few I hadn't met before, but there were also several familiar faces, like Brad, Jake, Laurie and Mitch. It was fun to hang out with everyone and talk about racing. If I wasn't excited already, I certainly got that way quickly.

This Saturday, several of us met at Yankee to pre-ride the course. I rode with Mitch and Laurie. (Thanks, guys. It was nice not to have to drive myself for once!) I was hoping to have a spectacular performance and be so much better than last year. Unfortunately, that wasn't exactly what happened. As soon as I was out on the course, that familiar fear returned. I was so hesitant in the beginning that I fell behind the group very quickly. I know I really hurt myself when I'm mountain biking because I lose a lot of momentum due to my fear on the downhills. Then I don't have as much speed to get up the next hill and it becomes a vicious circle.

I got a little bit braver once I got used to it a bit. I'm really wishing at this point that I had spent more time on the trail this year. I know the trainer miles will help my strength and stamina, but they don't do squat for making me feel comfortable on a trail.

I ended up crashing twice on the ride, but not bad either time. I also walked up a lot of hills I should have ridden, due to the aforementioned going slow on downhills and also due a bit to waiting to long to shift. I wish I could have one last crack at the trail before the race. I'm wondering if Wednesday might be an option. I'm going to try it.

At any rate, I ended up finishing with a time of 1:40. Last year, my time for the race was 1:47, so Saturday's time wasn't as much of an improvement as I was hoping for. Still, I know I wasn't riding at race pace and I did stop and wait a few times for people to pass me during the race. I don't think it would be out of line to shoot for a time of 1:35 for the race next week. We'll see how that turns out.

One last thing—I slept in on Friday so I missed my weigh in. I have no idea what I weighed this week, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty. I'm having trouble breaking this binge cycle that I'm in. Today's a new week though, so it seems like a good time to wipe the slate clean and start again. Now that I'm going to Key West I REALLY want to lose as much weight as I can quickly.

Key West is In, the Fort is Out

After spending several weeks whining about how I couldn't go to Key West this year because I have a new job and didn't want to ask for the time off, I finally broke down yesterday and begged my boss to let me go. I just couldn't stand it anymore. Chris had decided several weeks ago he was going, with or without me. He and my in-laws had been talking about the trip and I was pining away for Key West. Then I got an e-mail from our friend Ben Taddiken, who has decided he's going to stay in Key West for a while instead of sailing away for parts unknown. That was the last straw. Luckily, my boss is very understanding and agreed.

Unfortunately, my life is so jam-packed right now, I can only take an abbreviated trip, but a little Key West is much better than none. It also means I'll be flying out the day of the Fort Custer Stampede. This makes me a bit sad, but to be honest, it's not really my favorite race. Even though I'm focusing on endurance racing this year, I wanted to do a few CPS races as well. I picked Fort Custer mostly because it's one of those staple races that everyone does, unlike Hanson Hills, which I chose because I really like it.

I don't feel too guilty. I still have quite a few races on my schedule and given this week's irritating weather, I could really use that dose of the Conch Republic, even if it's still a month away. The biggest challenge now is figuring out how I'm going to pay for a trip when I haven't saved any money for it ahead of time.

Stop This Train—I Want Off

It started on Wednesday. It was a recovery week this week and Wednesday was one of the few days I was scheduled to ride. For some reason, though, the fact that I had to be at work at 6 a.m. to ride shotgun on a garbage truck had made me incredibly tired. So, instead of doing my 1.5 hours of training when I was supposed to, I just went to bed.

Then came Friday morning's weigh in. I knew I hadn't been perfect, but my indescretions had been fairly minor and I figured I'd come out of it okay. However, those slip ups, combined with fewer hours of training due to the recovery week, resulted in a 0.4 pound gain.

I should have eaten conservatively on Friday considering I knew I was going to have house guests this weekend and I probably wouldn't eat well. But someone came into one of the meetings I was in and passed out ice cream cookie sandwiches. I didn't have time to protest before the ice cream fairies left the room and so I ate it, instead of just letting it sit there like I should have.

The day only got worse. Chris and I went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, where I proceeded to drink a margarita, eat almost an entire basket of chips by myself and then eat shrimp enchiladas loaded up with sour cream. When I got home I (un)wisely decided to finish off the box of Samoas I bought from some evil Girl Scouts earlier in the week so they wouldn't be around to tempt me.

Saturday I was supposed to do my training test, but I spent the entire morning cleaning for my house guests, which I should have done the night before. I ended up skipping the test. That's the first time all year I've missed two days of training in the same week. It's not a good precedent.

As anticipated, Saturday was a free-for-all of eating and drinking. It started with lunch (General Tso's chicken), moved on to an afternoon cocktail at a bar in Old Town, included four or five more cocktails during and after the game and dinner of a cheeseburger and fries and one more drink at about 10:00 at the bar down the road. The evening culminated with a serving of chips and salsa con queso at home. That last one doesn't make sense because I wasn't in any way, shape or form hungry, and should have just gone to bed.

Today I'll hopefully get back on track. (I haven't had any indiscretions so far, but it's only 8:30.) It's strange how much can go bad in a mere week's time. A week ago, I was so energized and determined to do everything right. This week, I'm falling apart.

I see a glimmer of hope, though, and that hope comes from the fact that I have control. It may not have looked like it in the past few days, but I can make this thing go the way I want them to. I found that out at Barry-Roubaix. I'm not destined to suck like I always thought I was. If I put the time and effort into it, I can improve. It's not out of my hands at all. And that's a good feeling.

Gettin' By

My standard response when someone asked me how I was doing always used to be "gettin' by." In other words, I wasn't quite horrible, but wasn't fantastic either. In the past couple of months, I've seldom used that response. Maybe it's because I'm happier and have less stress in my life than I did in the last dark days before I quit my other job. Whatever the reason, just getting by has become somewhat unacceptable. That's not to say that I'm going to be fabulous all the time now, but I shouldn't be satisfied with merely surviving.

Now that I've finished practically breaking my arm patting myself on the back for my performance at Barry-Roubaix, I want to stop and think about what getting by means in terms of racing. Last year that's just what I was doing. It was my learning year, and that meant I was somewhat satisfied with just finishing because it meant surviving.

I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I think setting some pretty aggressive goals for myself in my races, beginning with Yankee, is a start.

My 2008 time was 1:47, which is pretty slow for 13 miles. Now I know that last year the race was run backward, which means it won't be an exact comparison. Even so, I think I can still set some goals based on that number. In the next couple weeks, I'll be trying to figure out what my time this year should be.

By the way, if anyone wants to read a less self-congratulatory race report from Barry-Roubaix, visit Michigan Mountain Bike Racing. I've posted a more generic summary of the race there.

A Good Start

I'm really glad I decided to race today. Even though the day started out disorganized, frustrating and disturbing, I forgot about my crappy morning as soon as I got out on the course. It started with quite a big hill. I situated myself at the back of the beginner pack and concentrated on methodically working my way up the hill. Despite my upsetting morning and how tired I was last night, I felt pretty strong. I did feel a bit underdressed and my fingers were freezing.

It was a gorgeous day, even though it was only about 30 degrees. The wind was chilly, but the sun was shining. I rode the first couple miles with a big grin on my face. Unlike during most of my other races, I could still see a bunch of people in front of me. They didn't seem to be pulling too far away.

The first section was gravel roads. After that, we turned onto some "two track." (These really aren't unnecessary, this barely qualified as two track.)This section was in horrible shape, with large, deep, sandy sections mucking up our progress. Along with everyone else around me, I attempted to ride each section, but ended up walking out of it.

Remarkably, though, I wasn't walking any of the hills. I was just plugging away at them, quite slowly. At some point, I realized I was actually passing people. Weird.

When we got back out onto the gravel roads, I increased my speed. Many people were walking the hills and I just slowly and steadily powered past them. I kept passing people. As I got near the beginning of the pack I was in (the beginner leaders were too far off to see), I passed a couple riders on hills and got passed back by them. I was going down the hills at pretty good clip, though, even those that seemed sketchy. I realized pretty early in the race that I was going to need all the momentum I could get to finish, so I had just better go down the hills as fast as I could stand to.

I blew by the aid station. I still felt pretty good. Finally, I passed the couple of riders in the second wave again. I did not want them to catch me, so I increased my speed and hoped that the race would be over before they caught me again. I began to widen the gap. When I hit the last couple of miles, which happened to be a paved stretch, I started really hauling ass (for me). I was really getting tired. My feet were hurting. But I just didn't want to quit and I didn't want to get passed, so I kept riding as hard as I could.

When I finally hit the finish line I felt a vast amount of relief. I also had a realization. So maybe I'm not an expert rider. I'm not even a sport rider. But I do have a killer instinct. For the first time in a race I actually dug as deep as I felt I could. I stopped thinking about just being able to finish and started looking for results.

I was really pleased with my performance. I ended up getting first in Beg. Women 35+ (as you can see). There were only two women in my class, but that didn't really bother me. I actually ended up beating all the beginner women (I think 5 total) and 18 beginner men. So that's what it feels like to actually race.

I know this post sounds really bad and that I sound like I'm bragging, but I'm just so excited to race and not totally suck, I don't know how else to express it.

That's More Like It

Not only have I updated my blog three days in a row (though this one's going to be short), I had a successful weigh in this morning. I knew I had a good week, but the 4 pound loss was more than I was expecting. Hopefully, this success will stay with me for the rest of the weekend, since I'm planning to race Barry-Roubaix tomorrow. I don't have a lot of hopes or expectations for the race. I just want to get outside and ride hard, see what I can do. I'm going to bed now. I need to get up early, get my bike ready to race and get in a decent warm up. Wish me luck!

Smells Like Team Spirit

Looks like I made it on a team after all. I'll be riding for On2Wheels, a bike shop in Jackson, this year. I got my jersey today, as you can see. I'm really excited to be a part of it. I know quite a few of my teammates already, and they are a great bunch. I believe they will be fun to hang out with and ride with and will motivate me to be better.

Jake is taking charge of things again this year, and we have a tentative schedule of group rides set up. After slogging away by myself on the trainer all winter, I am not only looking forward to riding outside, but also to riding with someone, instead of just alone.

That being said, for all the excitement I have over my impending race season, I'm pretty nervous. I've been bragging all winter about the riding I've done and though I have really done all of it, I won't be satisfied unless it seems to have made a difference. There's a part of me that always had the fact that I was overweight and didn't train enough to fall back on as an excuse for why I sucked. Now that I'm dropping pounds and putting so much time into training, what if I still completely suck? What if I'm terrible no matter how much effort I exert? It's a very real fear.

If nothing else, I'm sure I'll have fun racing this season. Still, it's getting old to be the person who always gets an "A" for effort. It's not enough anymore to keep showing up and racing, no matter how much it beats me up. I really need to see some progress this year.